Testimony time. I took my almost 16-year-old daughter in for a Splankna session. She has Down syndrome and had a traumatic start to life. Shortly after birth, she had to be taken by flight for life to a pediatric hospital that had level IV trauma care. She had six major surgeries before she was six month’s old; three of those were extensive heart surgeries, 2 of them open heart and on a heart lung bypass machine. Before her last surgery she was dying and was put into a coma and placed on life support for 24 hours to give her body a break and up her slim odds of surviving the next surgery. We were told she would likely not make it and we needed to say goodbye to her just in case. We sat with her lifeless body before surgery and cried and held her tiny limbs (we couldn’t hold her because of the life supportive tubes, cords, etc.) And we gave her permission to choose. We told her we loved her, but if she wanted to be with Jesus, we would let her go.
In Splankna she tested central emotion incompetent shortly after birth, with the attached emotions of performance, deprived, and condemnation. With performance, she agreed with the enemy to “anything to live,” and the lie was “I am on my own.” Essentially she accepted the bargain to live on her terms, and wouldn’t need anyone else since we were indifferent. Additionally, she tested with a program agreement of rejection and 124 traumas with the central emotion condemnation and the attached emotions of invalidated, unworthy, and repressed. I have always remarked that, “She had to fight so hard to live, now no one can convince her to stop fighting. She is always fighting to live, but she isn’t dying anymore, she is alive and thriving,”
Some aspects of raising her have been extremely tough. She doesn’t have the stereotypical Down syndrome temperament of “full of joy and sweetness.” She has those qualities, but she’s more of a fierce don’t mess with me warrior, and boss of her world. She has fought me on all the essential care needs that require assistance. A year ago I handed the reins of getting her up and off to school to my husband because she wore me down and I couldn’t do it, I was hoping to preserve our relationship by quitting this part. Hubby travels a lot, so it wasn’t a complete handoff.
Frequently when it was time to brush teeth and hair she would spit, hit, kick, block me. She won’t even let my husband do it some of the time, but she was much better with him. It’s my feeling that my husband has always thought it’s me, not her causing the dynamic. This really hurts as I have made heroic efforts and sacrifices (and my share of mess-ups along the way) to do the best I possibly can. She has had many nasty painful oral infections due to the mini-war over teeth brushing and the inability to do it well enough on her own. The dentist reminds her and me at each visit how crucial it is for me to help her. What to do but cry!?!
She is supposed to wear a CPAP for her moderate sleep apnea. She fought us so hard that we gave up. If I needed to tend to a cut, scrape, injury or clip her toenails, I was met with resistance. I have hired nannies to help me, as a stay at home mom—because I needed physical and emotional breaks. I have hired behavior experts to help us. It’s toughest mostly in the moments of caring for her needs. I don’t mean to paint her as having fits all the time. She is smart, outgoing, funny, energetic, and has a lot of other amazing qualities too.
After our session last Thursday night, she let me brush her teeth with zero resistance. She even let me get the spots that are hard. She was still recovering from her most recent infection. I went to bed crying and asking Jesus to please make sure this work was permanent. Today is Tuesday, and I have brushed her teeth twice a day with ZERO fuss. She has even started thanking me. She showed me an infected toenail on Saturday. It had gotten that way from an ingrown toenail. She let me drain the infection, cut away the nail, put ointment over it and bandage it. All painful, and never once did she pull away, hit me, spit at me; nothing! She said ouch a few times but let me tend to her needs. When I was finished, she said, “Thank you mom, I love you. ”
Y’all it’s like a brand new way of living and breathing with her, and I am soooooooo thankful for Jesus, through Splankna healing this in her and between us. ~ Splankna Client