Your “buttons” have nothing to do with other people. They are yours and you’re responsible for them.
So the first thing to do when someone pushes your “buttons” is to stop and ask yourself, “What just happened here? What trigger just went off in me?” “Did I just get embarrassed, blamed, guilted or pressured?” “What is it exactly that I’m feeling?”
Once you can identify the trigger, the next step is to ask yourself, “Where did I get this trigger?” Everyone is triggered by different things. The moment you just experienced may not trigger the person sitting next to you.
The things that trigger you are unique to you.
They are your deep heart saying something about your history and the wounds of yours that are unresolved. Every “button” of mine today, is coming from a wound of mine yesterday. That thing the annoying person just did or said “reminds” my heart of something older, something earlier in my life. That early wound is the real issue.
Maybe I grew up with a mother who used guilt as motivation. That might translate into my having a “button” that gets pushed when people try to guilt me in adult life. When someone pushes that guilt button in me, I first need to recognize it’s rooted in “mom issues,” stop and forgive/release mom in my heart and mind (maybe a short prayer) and then I can much more easily be objective with the person in the moment. When I forgive the original button pusher, today’s person is far less provocative and I can set boundaries more easily.